Parent Diaries: Sarah on potty training first time round, challenges and what she’d do differently

Written by Bambino Mio

Potty training your first child can feel like stepping into completely unknown territory. In this Parent Diaries edition, we chat to Sarah from our sister brand Splash About, who has been potty training her first-born while on maternity leave. Sarah shares an honest look at the challenges she faced, the trial-and-error approach she took with different products, and what she wishes she had known before starting, including why she would have begun earlier if she had her time again.

Can you tell us a little about you and your little one?

Hello! I’m a busy mum of two (or three, if you count the dog), and I have a three-year-old boy who’s currently obsessed with sea life. He loves teaching his Papi all about whales. He’s generally, a happy, confident little boy, but potty training has really knocked his confidence.

When did you first start thinking about potty training?

I first started thinking about potty training when my little boy turned two, but between the bad weather (he’s an autumn baby) and not really seeing any clear signs of “readiness”, I decided to wait until summer. It just felt like the better option, nicer weather for bare-bottom days, and a bit more time for him to be old enough to recognize his own cues.

SHOP: Potty Training

What made you decide to begin when you did?

We decided to start in July mainly because he was due to start pre-school in September, and we ideally wanted him to be potty trained for that big transition. I’d also read that summer is the best time to begin potty training, and he had reacted really well to the arrival of our youngest, so it felt like the right moment. We thought it was finally time to say goodbye to nappies.

How has your potty training journey been so far?

It’s been a looooong 6 months of trying but we’re finally seeing the end of the tunnel. In the beginning there were a lot of false starts but with perseverance my little boy is more accepting of the potty than he was in the beginning.

What have been the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?

By far the biggest challenge was my son’s refusal to sit on—or even go near—the potty or toilet. He absolutely hated it and wouldn’t sit on it, clothed or unclothed, no matter what we tried. We couldn’t bribe him into using it either. He just hated the whole idea, which was really hard to watch as a parent.

We tried everything: games, getting his toys to “use” the potty, sticker charts, even screen-time bribes—but nothing worked. The accidents he was having were starting to knock his confidence, so we decided to pause the process and take a step back.

My advice: start earlier if you can

Stay calm, keep things as normal as possible, and try not to panic. Your child will get there—it might just take a little longer than you first imagined.

Were there any moments that made you doubt yourself or your approach?

I bought potty after potty, then toilet seat adaptors, but he hated every single one. It started to feel like I was throwing money at the problem and still getting nowhere. The solutions in the books and websites I was reading weren’t helping either, and I felt completely lost in the process. He didn’t want any mention of the potty or going to the toilet at all, which made it feel even more overwhelming.

You mentioned trying lots of different products, what worked well and what didn’t?

The sticker chart had some success in getting him to actually sit on the potty – and being part of the process of decorating his own potty helped him feel some control and ownership over it.

Is there anything you wish you had tried earlier, or done differently

In hindsight, I wish we had started the whole process much earlier. I think if we’d begun before my second child was born, we might not have run into so many issues. Looking back, it was probably just too much change all at once for my little boy.

You’ve said you wish you’d started potty training sooner. Why do you think that is?

Starting potty training before my son became a fully fledged “threenager” would definitely have helped. By two and a half, he had very strong opinions on everything—especially things he absolutely did not want to do (like sitting on a potty). Starting earlier, before he discovered the power of saying “NO” with his whole soul, might have made the whole process a lot quicker and a lot less dramatic.

What advice would you give to first-time parents about when to start potty training?

I’d advise thinking about and planning for potty training earlier than you might expect. I only started reading the books when my son turned two, and by then they were already telling me 18 months was the ideal time—so I felt behind before I’d even started! My advice: start earlier if you can, stay calm, keep things as normal as possible, and try not to panic. Your child will get there—it might just take a little longer than you first imagined.