Parent Diaries: Jilane on potty training two children, cultural influences and learning along the way

Potty training can look very different from one child to the next, even within the same family. In this edition of Parent Diaries, we speak to Jilane from the Bambino Mio® team about potty training her two boys, and how her experiences differed with each child.
Originally from Morocco, Jilane shares how culture, timing and personality played a role in her approach, along with the lessons she learned the second time around and the advice she would pass on to other parents.

Questions for Jilane

Can you tell us a little about you and your two boys?

I’m Jilane, a Moroccan mum raising two beautiful little boys in the UK, where they were born, with my husband, who has an Indian background and was also born here. Our home is a real mix of cultures, and I love that my boys are growing up surrounded by all of that.

My eldest, Gaby, is 5 years old. He’s very clever, full of energy, but also quite shy. He observes everything before he jumps in and has a very sensitive, thoughtful personality.

My youngest, Milan, has just turned 3. He was a little slower to start talking, but now he talks for all of us - haha! He’s very clever too, but much more outgoing and confident than his big brother. He’s not shy at all; he’ll happily talk to anyone.

They’re both full of energy (definitely from me!)

When did you start thinking about potty training with your first child?

I started potty training Gaby when he was around 2 years old, shortly after I found out I was pregnant with Milan. I felt that it would really help if he was toilet trained before the new baby arrived, because I knew that with a newborn and a completely new routine, it might be harder to find the time and energy to focus on it properly.

In my mind, it also felt like the right age. I was personally potty trained at around one and a half years old. I was raised by my grandmother in Morocco, and the way she did it with all her children, she did with me too, and it worked. So naturally, I had that in the back of my mind.

Gaby started potty training around 24 months. But honestly, I didn’t really know where to start. I was looking online for advice, reading different approaches, and calling some family members who had more experience, just trying to understand how to begin and how to do things “right” with my little one.

How was that experience overall?

It was slow, but we got there in the end.At first, Gaby completely refused. He didn’t feel confident and was very anxious about it. He wouldn’t sit on the potty or even come anywhere near it. I quickly realised he just wasn’t comfortable with the idea.

We tried to make it feel positive and relaxed. It was summer, so sometimes we would celebrate with a small treat or reward when he asked to use the potty. It wasn’t perfect, and we didn’t get there straight away, it took months. But we took it easy, to be honest. No pressure at all. We just kept talking about it, kept two potties around the house so it became part of our daily routine, reminded him now and then, but never rushed things.

The “naked method” helped a bit at the beginning. As soon as he didn’t have clothes on his bottom half, he became more aware. But we had a lot of accidents. We had plenty of accidents around the house… just not always in the potty, haha!

Eventually, he started doing wee in the potty, but poo took much longer. That came later.

When his little brother was born, he was nearly fully potty trained. But then the accidents started again. I had been warned about this by a friend, who told me that older siblings can feel jealous or want more attention when a new baby arrives. So even though it was a step back, we expected it a little. I understood it was emotional, not just about the potty, so patience and support were key.

Overall, it was quite a slow journey, but we got there in the end.

What was different when it came to potty training your second child?

Milan was a little slower to start talking, so we didn’t rush into potty training. We wanted to make sure he was doing well and that we weren’t missing anything before introducing something new like potty training.

We introduced the potty last summer (summer 2025), and we are still working on it now. Sometimes he happily accepts going and likes to copy his big brother when he uses the bathroom. I don’t like the idea of comparing siblings, as each child has their own pace, but it does help when they copy positive habits like brushing their teeth or using the toilet…We are following his own lead, with support and gentle reminders.

We also use simple encouragement and rewards, clapping hands, giving a sticker, or an extra bedtime story when he uses the potty, just small things to motivate him.

It hasn’t been the same as with his big brother, but interestingly, both journeys have been slow in different ways.

Now he has started feeling annoyed when he’s wet and asks to be changed each time, which is a great sign. So we are getting there slowly but surely.

Did you approach potty training differently the second time around, and if so, why?

I didn’t change everything, but I did feel more confident the second time around.

I still used some of the same methods, but this time I felt more relaxed and less pressured. I learned to adjust my expectations, haha! and accepted that it’s not something parents do “perfectly” to make it successful. Of course, support and consistency help, but every child has their own development and timing.

We’ve been using Bambino Mio training pants, which have been helpful because they still allow him to feel wet, so he understands what’s happening, but they also give him a bit more confidence. When he feels uncomfortable, he asks to be changed, which supports his awareness.

More than anything, I’ve learned that patience and support are what really matter.

How did your cultural background influence your views or approach to potty training?

In Morocco, children are generally potty trained at an earlier age. However, even within my own family, it wasn’t exactly the same for everyone. I was potty trained quite early, but my own brother and some of my cousins were trained later. That helped me realise that there isn’t one “perfect” age, even within the same culture.

So while I did grow up with the idea that children can be trained earlier, I never wanted to rush my boys. I’ve always tried to support myself with research and reading, and I’ve learned that introducing potty training gently is far more important than focusing purely on age.

At the same time, I do try to guide them in a way that helps them feel ready and confident for school when the time comes. Living in the UK also helped me see a more child-led approach, which I appreciated.

In the end, I feel like I’ve blended both perspectives, encouraging independence while still respecting my child’s individual pace.

What do you feel went well with both children?

The best thing I did was lower my expectations. I never set a timeline or treated it like a goal we had to reach by a certain date. That really made a difference.

I also tried to keep things positive and playful. For example, I tried to make toilet time feel fun and positive, using simple explanations they could understand. It helped make the whole process feel less stressful and more normal.

Most importantly, there was absolutely no pressure. Mess is part of it. They are learning, and we are there to support them.

I’m still in the process with Milan, and I’m so proud of how he is trying and making efforts, even if they are small and not consistent every day. That still counts as progress.

What were the biggest challenges you faced along the way?

One of the biggest challenges was refusal, especially wanting to continue doing everything in a nappy instead of using the potty. There were moments when it felt like we were making progress and then suddenly taking a step back. Sometimes I also questioned myself and wondered if I was doing it the “right” way. But I truly believe that children are different, and what works for one might not work for another.

Even with the ups and downs, I’ve always believed we would get there in the end, and that belief really helps during the more challenging days.

Is there anything you wish you had known before you started the first time?

My biggest piece of advice would be not to compare your children and not to set expectations based on how things went with an older sibling. Every child has their own personality, their own development, and their own pace. What works for one child may not work for another, even within the same family.

I found that keeping things positive, offering support and encouragement, and giving children opportunities to learn and build awareness really helped. Whether that's through a potty, a toilet seat or training pants, every child learns in their own way and in their own time.

Try to be patient and trust the process. They will get there when they are ready.

What reassurance would you offer to parents who feel their journey is not going “to plan”?

I would say try not to be too hard on yourself. Potty training rarely goes exactly to plan, and that is completely normal. There will be good days, difficult days, accidents, and moments when it feels like nothing is changing. That doesn't mean your child is not learning or making progress.

Every child develops at their own pace, and what matters most is continuing to offer support, encouragement and patience. Small steps still count, and over time they really do add up.

Most importantly, remember that you are not alone. Many parents experience the same ups and downs, and in the end, most children get there when they are ready.